All I need is the air I breathe.

Oh wow.

Fri, 02 Oct 2009 22:50:41 GMT

I totally forgot about this site until today.
Hahah.
I'm sure I'll do this stuff again next time summer rolls around.

Sun, 12 Jul 2009 00:44:16 GMT

First entry of July!
Man, where do I start? Well first of all, I'm still too lazy to talk about SPFC. So forget about it altogether. What's done is done and there's no point in lingering on the subject. Especially since my thick headed father is threatening to not let us go anymore. Isn't that bullshit?! He's just trying to get back at my mother. He's been very, very, very fucking irritating ever since I've been here. But this entry is not about him, it's about me.

Sooo, last week we went to Arkansas and Missouri for vacation. We went to a waterpark, a fish hatchery, a musical, and so on. I didn't spend much but my account balance says otherwise. I'm almost broke! My dad and I have been job hunting but I don't meet the age requirement for most of them. I guess I'm not getting a job this summer :/

And other than that, all I've been doing is just sitting around the house playing video games and watching movies. But we got internet and cable back yesterday, so I guess that's good. I really don't like being cooped up in this damn house. I'm the kinda girl who wants to go out! But since I'm a kid and not my dad's wife, my dad doesn't give a shit about what I want. I know I just got back on the subject of him again, but he's been my biggest problem lately. I even broke down on the phone with my mother last night talking about him.

I really miss my mom. I never realized how much I appreciate her until this summer. I miss my own home, my own dog, my own friends, my own bed. I'm tired of being here. That's the honest truth. It can be fun and entertaining sometimes, but overall I can't see myself being happy if I lived here. There's too much anger and not enough compassion under this roof.

I want to go home.

HI-YA!

Sun, 28 Jun 2009 04:18:17 GMT

So it's been almost 24 hours since we've gotten back from camp in New Mexico. And let me tell you, it was funnn.

I'm too lazy and somewhat frustrated right now to go into detail about it. You can thank my father for the frustration part. I'm just sick and tired of his biased views of my mother. And vice versa. I will never put my kids through the things my immature parents are doing to me and my brothers. They don't realize how much of and impact they make on their children. They think they know, and yeah maybe they get the jist. But what they fail to see is that I watch their every action. I know kids "learn from example" but I try my best to not let their actions influence me. But I see what they do or fail to do and it frustrates me so much. THEY are supposed to be the adults. I think it's because I'm not directly involved so I see both sides. Keeping a level head is harder than you think.

Anyway, Kings of Leon are playing on SNL right now and it's diffusing my anger right now. But not by much. This entry wasn't supposed to be all venting! I was going to talk about how awesome camp was but my dad called right when I signed on livejournal and so now I'm pissed.

I'll update again with the fun details when I'm in a better mood.

Find a job you love doing and you'll never work a day in your life.

Tue, 16 Jun 2009 19:33:58 GMT

In the last hour and a half that I've been awake, I have:

1) Watched my brothers wrestle with their friend Wyatt.
2) Ate 3/4 of a delicious pizza.
3) Saw how stupid 'The International' was after 10 minutes into it and walked upstairs.

Today I plan on going to Sonic with my friend Marissa. Her church is volunteering to serve food to the customers and we get to keep the tips. And speaking of working, my dad emailed me about a job open at Subway when I come stay with him in July. He said it's $6.55/hr and 5 days a week. I'm debating with myself whether or not I should ask for part time or full. I really don't like the idea of giving up my summer days so I can put together people's sandwhiches. But I get money? And if I stayed home I couldn't leave the house anyway because both parents are at work and they don't want us kids outside. So I guess I'll be working at Subway full time in July. I'm not sure how I should feel about this just yet. Right now, I'm excited about having my own income. But what if I get sick of my job? Then it's like going to hell for money. Idk.

Anyway, Amanda and Max are coming over tomorrow to go to VBS with us! It'll all be our 3rd year together :) And hopefully, my step sister Patrisha will meet us at VBS too. She's only 11 but she neither acts or looks like it. I think I influence her too much and now she's like a teenager. Hahah, oh well. Better that than actually having an 11 year old who acts her age hanging with me. Haha, wow I'm selfish.

Later!

Life is what happens when you're making plans.

Tue, 16 Jun 2009 02:22:04 GMT

Heyy, I'm back! :)
You can thank my good friend summer for that.

It's been ten days since school let out and I have done hardly anything! Well, Amanda came down from Oklahoma last week and spent a couple of nights with me. She'll be back to join me for VBS on wednesday--WHICH I am freaking stoked for. Vacation bible school has been amazing these past four years and I'm sure this summer will be just as incredible.

Next week is SPFC! What is this you might ask? Single Parent Family Camp. I know that sounds lame. It is. Hahah, just kidding. Sort of. ANYWAY, it's this christian camp where single parents and their kids from all over meet to have some fun. Although I didn't go the last couple of summers, this upcoming camp will be my third year. It's really not that bad. You get beautiful scenery since it's up in the mountains of New Mexico, you do fun stuff, you meet new kids. And I have met some pretty nifty kids. I wonder if they'll be there this summer. Probably not. What scares me though is the idea of going to this camp and finding out the only kids my age are either prudes or people I just don't get along with. I hope to find at least one decent kid to chill with or else those 7 days are going to be pure hell. The last two times I was there I was this shy, quiet and reserved girl. I didn't speak up when I should have and I let this one girl step all over me. Ugh, it makes me sick looking back on it. But I have changed SO MUCH. No more insecure, chicken shit Jessica. I'm for real and have figured myself out a lot more since then. But of course, I'm still learning.

Anyway, tomorrow is my last free day before I'm completely busy for the rest of June. I really should take advantage of it and go hang with someone. But you know, I have that lazy anti-social disease thing going on.

Haha, there's always August. ;)